Control – Written by Kim Denton Boise Hair Salon Owner/Salon Coach

Struggling with life can be hard for us when it comes to relationships, work, and day-to-day life. It goes without saying that the more we try to control things the more we are out of control. I have helped many clients at my Boise hair salon with this and some with a lot of resistance.

When our emotions are high, our intelligence is low. So when we are hurt, we try to gain control over things that are not going our way, or find a way to manipulate it to go our way. But does this really work out for the good? Many people spin out of control with control. Maybe this is why one of the steps in recovery is to give everything to a higher power and let him/her do the work.

In fact, control is usually based on emotion whether it is fear, guilt or another emotion lying low in our subconscious. (There is that “subconscious” word again – see blog on little voice mastery.) So with all of those thoughts on how we need to gain control again, how do we let go and change these patterns that were taught to us from the beginning?

We let go by identifying the emotion that is behind the control. Seems simple right? Well, I beg to differ but it can be done. It all goes back to the results. If you want to let go of control, you have to be willing to be accountable for your own behavior, mindset, attitude and belief system.

The only thing that you can control is your actions!

My core belief is that most emotions are usually the result of fear or loss that leads us to try and control things. Identifying these emotions is the first step. The second step is to turn it over to a higher power (mine is God). Our higher power is usually the one in control, not you. Remember when turning it over YOU CAN NOT TAKE IT BACK! Trust that your higher power has some kind of lesson to teach you and knows what he/she is doing. Many times we do not trust fate. Every hardship makes us more knowledgeable and aware of who we really are.

The last step is patience. Remember when I said you can’t take it back? Well sit tight. With every storm, there is usually a rainbow, and the sun will shine again. Taking back control only leads to stormier weather. Focus on the aftermath and rebuilding.

Believe and focus on a positive outcome. Whether it is good or bad there is always something to learn from. Remember every reaction due to control makes the rippling effect just like that of a rock being tossed into water. It is all up to us when it comes to how far it ripples!

Getting Results – Written by Kim Denton Owner/Salon Coach

Lately, the biggest question I get these days is how I got where I am in just the past year (dropping 55lbs and starting a new found career). Believe me, it wasn’t easy. On your way up there is always people who want to keep you down. What I do know is this – setting goals is key and keeping them is even more important. Your biggest accountability is to yourself! No one else can help change you or get you the results you want.

So let’s take a look at what results look like… Results are consequences. They are the effect or outcome of our actions. If you want to lose weight or get a job promotion, or even become a superstar, you have to visualize what you want and ask yourself how you are going to get there.

The very first thing to work on is changing our behavior. Behavior is either physical or mental. If you want to be at the top of an organization or want to lose weight like 75% of the population, you have to start behaving like the person you visualize. It is my personal belief that this is why people lose interest in their goals because changing your behavior is one of the hardest things to do.

So to change our behavior, we have to change our mindset. Mindset plays an interesting part in our behavior. How we think is usually how we behave. The best thing I ever did was take the Little Voice Mastery program by Blair Singer (coached by Jason Everett). This program inspired me so much that I became a business coach for LVM and utilize the concepts I’ve learned in my own salon. If you want to see gains you have to change your mindset (see my blog on success).

In order to reach your goals, it’s also just as important to change your attitude and leave the negative behind you. Yes; whoever or whatever, it’s time to say goodbye and stay on track. You will get some slack when you are on your way up, but you will also find people who cheer you on and/or get inspired by what you have done for yourself. I always tell my clients to make daily goals and a gratitude list in the morning while celebrating wins throughout the day. As you continue on your journey, your momentum will get stronger, and your fan club will get bigger in the process. Your energy and positive attitude will be contagious!

Now remember the negative part? The reason why it’s so important to put the negative behind you is because of your belief system. What you believe to be true will affect your attitude about yourself. If you believe that you will never reach your goals, or that it’s to hard, or it’s just not the right time, this belief system will kill your attitude faster than anything. Positive thinking all the way! Change that attitude to a 70 °,sunshiny day. No day is a bad day! At least that is what we say at unDONE Salon.

Last of all divide your self-concept into the following three categories:

  • Your Image – How do you see yourself everyday?
  • Your Ideals – Who do you inspire to be and look up to?
  • Self Esteem – How much do you love and like yourself?

In order to get the results that we truly want, it’s these three things that will affect how we feel, see and what we aspire to be. Remember, your results will never exceed your self-concept. Keep your eye on the ball, and keep believing in yourself!